The Blog of dreamdancer

Today I ranged high and low, angry to sad, loving and hating, ranting and raving.  I finally have calm, equillibrium...my glass is half full again.  I have decided to laugh at life's bumps in the road because it simply lightens the load.  These jokes are on marriage, hopefully yours is no joke.  I think they are pretty even in slamming men and women....neither sex has the right or the wrong, the good or the bad...it just is the hand we get dealt and what we choose to do with it that makes us different.

Woody Allen

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.



Agatha Christie

An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.



Samuel Johnson

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.



Anonymous

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.



Love may be blind but marriage is a real opener!  Anon

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late."

 

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I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

 David Bissonette

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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him

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Do not marry a man to reform him. That is what reform schools are for."

 Mae West

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Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Ambrose Bierce

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Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law

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Man is better off than woman; he marries later and dies sooner

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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

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 Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of person your spouse would have really preferred

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Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others.

-Oscar Wilde

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 A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.—

Zsa Zsa Gabor

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My wife and I were happy for 20 years - then we met.

-Rodney Dangerfield

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The most happy marriage I can picture would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.

 Coleridge

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One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.

 Benjamin Franklin

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.The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

-Henry Youngman

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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

 Phyllis Diller

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If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?

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Arguments are unsafe with wives, because they examine them; but they do not examine compliments. One can pass upon a wife a compliment that is three-fourths base metal; she will not even bite it to see if it is good; all she notices is the size of it, not the quality.

Hellfire Hotchkiss

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All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.

 Lord Byron

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"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."

Jimmy Durante.

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Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.

-- Albert Einstein - Funny Love Quotes

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Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

 Anonymous

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 Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means."

George Burns.

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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close knit family in another city."

George Burns.

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 I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't."

Patrick Murray.

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 In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker."



Woody Allen.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday

is to forget it once

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Yawn - Nature's way of letting married men open their mouths

Anon

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 I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

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 I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested the kitchen.

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Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence

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 A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

 Milton Berle

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A wife is   someone who'll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single. 

unknown

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I think, therefore I'm single.