The Blog of dreamdancer

I feel this burning desire to write something today. Only everything I try is a dead end. I look at my Yahoo Messenger, it tells I am invisible. Maybe I am. There are all these layers: woman, wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, and then there is just me. I find that I really like the just me. In a PM from a friend, he talked about the freedom to be just me (this was in regard to him), but I found I liked the thought, so I have borrowed it.



What is just me? Why it is freedom to be, to think, to stir up, to calm down, to dance on the wind, to be selfish if I want, to be giving and loving if I want, to be a sexual creature if I want, to be whole and not fractured, to not give a damn about anyone’s judgment, to be free of right and wrong, to be the secret whisper in a lover’s ear, to be alone but not lonely…I am sure that I could go on and just fill page after page of what the possibilities of me there could be.



Now why is this important, this ability to be me? Why because like everyone else, I live in a world of expectations and roles that get played every day. Some are quite marvelous and some are not. Some broaden horizons and some shut doors tight. In cold reality the role gets played, I do my duty, I do the expected but not always with a song my heart. There are things I cannot say. There are things I cannot do. There are the nay sayers, the finger pointers, the “you’re going to hell people.” Always quick on the mark to tell me how I come up short, how I am less than. Life is just what it is, sometimes up, sometimes down, and all-in-all I do pretty well. I have been visited by great joy and great sorrow. I have ironed a lot of stuff out. But the cyber world has given me, me; I find I like that.



So, I may kick my heels a bit out here, have some fun, laugh some laughs, not take the world so seriously (that’s the layered me), I may get right down naughty but then again maybe I’ll be angelic (ha-ha), that is the beauty of no layers…no labels, just me.